


quiet room

by wordsofwisdumb



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Based on a Vocaloid Song, Depression, Gay, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, Japanese, M/M, Oh My God, Please Don't Kill Me, Sad Ending, Suicidal Thoughts, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-29 18:45:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13933044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordsofwisdumb/pseuds/wordsofwisdumb
Summary: There are a million ways of making your boyfriend happy. Rich chose the wrong option.(Based on quiet room by ewe/有機酸)





	quiet room

Jake clenched his hair, whimpering as he tried to let his voice out. There were a million thoughts running through his mind and a million things he wanted to say. All attempts of voicing it out didn't work at all in the slightest.

Rich kneeled in front of him, worry in his eyes. His shaky hands reached out to grasp Jake's tear stained cheeks and held his face, telling him over and over again about how it was going to be okay. It wasn't.

In Jake's eyes, the room felt small as if he was a giant wedged into a tiny room but in reality, the room was large and spacious.

 

言葉なんてここじゃ全く役に立たないことは

わかっているだろう

 

* * *

 

 

Dinnertime had finally came, which wasn't really that exciting anymore. It's all just the same bland food that they eat everyday. Even if they try to change it up a bit, it doesn't change anything.

No matter what food they ingest, it tastes nothing at all, as if it was like they were made out of paper. Eating them were simply useless. What's the use of eating flavorless food if it all does is just to fill you up and nothing else?

But even after tiring themselves doing everything they can, the cycle continues. They had nothing to do about it.

The frequent silence was broken by a small sniffle sound. Then another. And another, which was followed by a muffled sob. Soon then Jake broke down, letting all the tears pour out of his eyes.

The crying boy wailed out,  
「どうしてこんなにかなしいの？」

Rich could only look up at him, not knowing what to do but to simply answer,  
「君もすぐに慣れるよ」

After a couple of hours staring into space in complete silence, Rich had an idea and he was certain they'll enjoy it.

 

* * *

 

淡い淡い闇の中へ

泳いでいくからついておいで

 

Rich had his hand loosely wrapped around Jake's wrist, as they took a stroll along the long, never-ending streets of the town. With only the moonlight and the faint light of lampposts illuminating their way, along with a peaceful quietness, they had a decent time together.

Then, the boy turned to glance back at Jake, giving him a weak smile. Sure, it wasn't all that fancy but atleast he had tried.

Jake only stared back at him, emotionless.

 

ねえまだいるかい

 

They tiptoed their way in the street, picking up speed at one point, but soon then slowed down. Their feet made a few small tapping sounds as they walked along the pavement barefooted.

Rich whispered soothingly,  
「最後の時までその目は離さないで」

No reply came out of Jake's mouth.

 

ねえまだいるかい

 

* * *

 

 

Even if they were to forget everything, they'd still shed tears with a cooped-up feeling in the cold evenings. Though if happiness were to just repeat endlessly, it would soon become absent nonetheless.

 

わかっていたけど

 

Still, even if Jake placed his dreams in his mouth, they would only be tasteless as if he was a doll made out of clay.

The sunlight shone on their room as they sat on the table, surrounded by hoards of bland food that they were gonna throw out later on. Both of them were silent, as per usual; Staring at each other, waiting for someone to speak up, and one did.

The boy who ran away said this;  
「どうしてこんなにくるしいの？」

Jake looked him in the eyes and replied,  
「きっと誰かの為だよ」

For someone so positive about overcoming their misery, he'd think that Rich wouldn't speak like this, though he thought it was his fault. It was always his fault. Rich was just trying to help and make the situation better, but Jake had to ruin it. After all, even without Rich trying to help, Jake would still be the same since anything wasn't working out well for him.

Being surrounded by ornaments and furniture wasn't helping either. They'd still feel empty even if they try to enjoy little things they already have. They'd still end up being dispirited.

 

* * *

 

 

崩れ落ちていく

崩れ落ちていく

 

Jake's hand quivered as it held one of the most awful object that he owned; A switchblade that he had stolen from his father's possession long ago. This wasn't supposed to be here, right at his fingertips after years of suffering because of it, but it was there. Just the knife being in his hand brought so much horrible memories back, his vision blurring as tears started forming in his eyes. Jake tried to push them away and avoid them but failed, now staring at the dried blood that stained the blade's metal. His own blood.

Jake then attempted to hide it back again, postponing his plan of _"doing it"_ , but didn't work. His tears wet his clothes, along with his hands as well. It took him forever until it dawned on him, this was no use. Hiding it wasn't gonna help his case. Even if the switchblade is hidden away somewhere, he'd still do it one day.

A mess was now made, hoards of things haphazardly thrown everywhere. Another big disappointment caused by him again. He was definitely helping his situation.

 

流れ落ちていく

流れ落ちていく

 

Rich heard all the commotion from the other room and bolted to where the noise came from. There stood Jake, helpless as he could only stare back at him. He couldn't say anything, only tears pouring out his eyes instead of words he had wanted to say out loud.

He couldn't move either, as a mass of broken objects were sprawled around him, preventing him from running away like the usual; like the coward he was.

 

涙の行方を君は見たのか

 

Quickly then Rich pulled Jake into a tight hug, grabbing the switchblade along the way. He embraced Jake in his arms, raising the knife and flicked it open. Jake closed his eyes as the blade's tip neared him. All of a sudden, the blade pierced through his back, with Rich quickly pulling it out after and throwing it to the side. Both of them dropped to the floor, with Jake's head laid onto Rich's shoulder. He felt numb as tears stopped pouring out of his eyes, now with blood flowing out of his wound.

Rich whispered sweet nothingness into Jake's ear as the wound began to sting. Jake nuzzled his head into the smaller boy's neck more, becoming weaker over time.

 

~~もういいかい？ もういいよ。そろきみもつかれたろう、ね。~~

 

His breathing became slower and his body became heavier; Jake was bleeding out but he didn't want it to stop. This was it. In a second, it would be the end for him, just like what he wanted.

 

~~息を止めるの、今。~~

 

His eyes shut close as he finally took his last breath. It was all over now.

**Author's Note:**

> i really tried oof this is my first time writing a fanfic !!
> 
> it was really late at night when i wrote this so i apologize, please point out any grammar or spelling mistakes, it will be greatly appreciated !!
> 
> okay i'll shut up now


End file.
